How I Was Tortured
by callofgaming
Summary: Robin, Ted, Barney, Lily, and Marshall are all kidnapped individually, and are forced to make choices that'll change their lifes. Rated T for swearing and violence.
1. Chapter 1 - Marshall

I was bored, so I wrote this story about my favorite TV Show. Please Review. Set during Season 5.

_Ted – Kids, have I ever told you about the time me and my friends went through a horrifying experience?_

Marshall entered the living room, holding a 6-pack of beer bottles. Barney was sitting in a chair, talking on the phone. Today there was gonna be a Patriots versus Jets game, and everyone had gathered to see it together. They had ordered Mc Claren's fantastic hot chicken wings and nachos. Everything was ready for the group tradition. Robin, Ted and Lily were sitting in the red couch.

"Lily, can you move a bit?" Marshall asked, making Lily scoot over to her left.

"Sure, honey." She replied.

"Oh yeah, that was totally great. Bye now." Barney said, right before hanging up on the phone and throwing it on the table.

"Who were you talking to Barney?" Ted asked.

"Some chick I hooked up a week ago. She somehow found out my phone number." Barney said, sighing. Then, he got up and he sat on another red chair that was right next to the couch.

"How much?" Marshall said, giving Barney a serious look.

"Fifty bucks!" Barney said, establishing a bet with Marshall.

"Deal." Both of them placed 50 dollars on the coffee table in the middle.

The game had now started. Both teams were now entering on the field to play. Everyone was excited. Until some seconds later, the TV went static.

"Oh, COME ON!" Everyone shouted.

"It's okay. It might just be a problem with the satellite dish. I'll go check."

"You need help buddy?" Ted asked, taking then a sip from his beer.

"Nah, I got it."

Marshall opened the guillotine window, and then placed his leg over it, so he could pass onto the fire escape. He placed both his feet on the metal platform and climbed the stairs. He felt the cold air of the night inside his lungs.

When he reached the roof, he looked at the dish. He gasped when he saw that it was destroyed in two pieces. He quickly ran towards it. He fell on his knees and looked up into the dark sky.

"NOOOOOOO!" He screamed. "What evil creature could have done this?!"

He stared back at the ground. When suddenly, he felt a rag being pressed hardly against his nose. Then, he passed out.

Marshall woke up a couple of hours later. He was sweating and his hair was messy. Marshall opened his eyes. He saw that he was in his living room. Everything was dark. Marshall looked down. He noticed he was strapped in his arms and legs to a chair and had a rag stuck in his mouth. Marshall panicked and started to mouth non existing words. He couldn't mouth words. In his left hand, there was a cheap grey cellphone.

Marshall was jump scared, when the TV gained life. A doll, with big red cheeks, appeared in it. Marshall's eyelids were fully open, with fear shining in them.

"Hello, Marshall." Said the doll, in a deep and profound voice. "I want to play a game. When you got married with Lily, you broke the Bro Code. And ever since you did marry her, you have been selfish, and she has been sacrificing herself over you, but you didn't do it for her." The doll now took a pause from its speech. "I've seen that you have beaten the record of how much Tantrum a human can consume. Now, you must break your own record. Look to your right."

Marshall obeyed. He was plain terrified, when he discovered a small metal pole, with 5 bottles of Tantrum attached to it,, and a tube that connected them to a vein in Marshall's arm.

Marshall franticly moved his tongue, until he managed to spit the rag out of his mouth.

"Where's my wife, you bastard?!" Marshall shouted at the screen, not sure if he could hear him.

"She's fine." Replied calmly the doll. "For now…"

"I'll fucking kill you!" Marshall said, in a empty threat.

"For you to get out of this device, you must use the cellphone to call your job and quit. That's right, your dream of saving the Earth will be impossible."

"That'll never happen, you crazy psycho!" Marshall said.

"Then, let the Tantrum consume you. You have one minute" The voice stopped talking, and instead, started producing a maniac laughter. After, the screen went black and the TV turned off.

Marshall twisted his body in agony, when Tantrum began to be pumped in his circulatory system. Marshall knew that he would have a sugar overdose if he didn't escape. But that meant losing the opportunity of a good job that cares about saving the environment. But all he wanted was to hold Lily in his arms again. After all, if he did die, he couldn't work at his dream job too. So, there was only one thing to do.

One liter and a half had been injected in Marshall's organism. He was now feeling an extreme energy inside him. He tapped quickly the number of his company's. He clicked on the dial button.

"Come on! Pick up, pick up!" Marshall said in frustration.

Out of rage, Marshall forced his right wrist against the strap, which came off.

"Thank God!" Marshall said, now a smiling unrolling in his face.

He rapidly hanged up the call, and then removed the other strap. It had been now three liters and a quarter. This was already past Marshall's record. He then ripped the thin tube out of his arm. Some blood spilled out of it.

Marshall got up. He was feeling his heart racing, his mind dizzy and his vision blurry.

"Lily!" Was the last word Marshall pronounced, before collapsing onto the ground.


	2. Chapter 2 - Barney

Barney opened his eyes. He was naked, only having his boxers. He was filled with fear when he saw that his limbs were all tied.

"Amanda? If this was you, I'm sorry I hurt you!" Barney shouted, thinking that this was the act of one girl he had slept with.

Barney almost went blind, when his gigantic Japanese TV turned on. Anyone who stared at the TV, would get an eye ache, but Barney was used to it. A white doll, with dark eyes and red cheeks appeared.

"Hello, Barney." The doll said. "I want to play a game."

"Aishh, what are you, creature?!" Barney said, disgusted with the aspect of the doll.

"That not matters now. What matters now is you."

"Oh my god, I can't believe it. I'm gonna have a three-way?"

"What? No! Just shut up! Anyway, over the years, you've broken hearts and fooled people with false identities, just for you to hide the hideous person that lies behind those ridiculous costumes."

"It's the playbook, you idiot!" Barney screamed.

The doll ignored Barney and continued. "Today, you'll have to make a choice and make a sacrifice."

"Oh no. What is it?"

The doll didn't replied. Instead, two spotlights illuminated the room, one in each side of it. Barney twisted his head towards his left. He was scared, like a mother to a child, when he saw his rack of suits.

"My SUITS!" Barney stared at the TV, threating the vile creature. "Let my suits go! Kill me if you want, just don't kill the suits." Barney sobbed.

"We're not done yet. Look to your right." Barney obeyed. He was double scared when he was his proud collection of porn. Barney then stared at the ceiling, as he imagined his most pride possessions suffering horrible things. But now Barney was in an extreme panic: He saw two cinderblocks attached to the ceiling. And they were right above his waist.

"Barney, today you'll make a choice that'll influence your future. See those cinderblocks? When time runs out, they'll fall right on your…"Little Barney"."

"Please, NO! I'll never sleep with another girl and never call her again!"

"Silence! But you can save yourself. You can either save your "Little Barney", and let the porn and the suits die. Or, you can either save your suits or your porn, but your "Little Barney"…I think you know what I mean. And if you don't choose in time... You'll lose all three things. Let the game begin!" The TV then went black and some numbers popped in it. It marked 1 minute, and it was going down.

Barney shouted for help and breathed fast. He wanted to save his Little Barney. But he couldn't let go of his suits. The suits were always there for him, in bad times or good ones. But what about his porn? But still, he knew that if he lost Little Barney, he wouldn't survive.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SCREW IT! I PICK…SUITS!" Barney screamed in plain lungs. The two cinderblocks were released and they fell on Little Barney. Barney didn't have the strength to scream. He just whimpered.

"Totally…worth it. Legen- wait for it." And then he passed out.

_ Thank you for reading. PLEASE REVIEW, FOLLOW AND FAVORITE_


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